Love-Song to Eliot

TESTIMONIALS

I think you have taken one of the greatest and most complex pieces of prose in the history of poetry and done quite admirably in your poem inspired by it. “Prufrock” was my introduction to Eliot’s work by my poetry mentor Dr. Laura Hackett 47-years ago. I have done many public readings of this poem and can recite it from memory. The prose you put forth shows an innate understanding of Eliot’s intent, and pays great tribute to his work. You capture that inner battle between emotion and intellect so powerfully and heart-achingly projected by Eliot. Even the paraphrase passages throughout stand solid. Extremely well written in words of your own.  My hat’s off to you on this!    William E. Barber

“The stealthy misty veil slips and curves around the terrain — like a winding river spiraling smiling in the sun”  There are many lines and metaphors to savor within this finely-driven piece. The two lines I’ve quoted above were quite profound in a visceral way, having observed such serenity within nature myself. I also liked the lines about the songbirds becoming silent. This is an honorable response to Eliot’s masterwork, with tones of Thoreau and other nature writers scattered throughout.   WandaLeaBrayton

This is beautiful. So much color, and the intimacy and vulnerability of the write is really excellent. Love all the imagery and the metaphor! Love these lines:

“it have been afterall, worth all the while;
after the sun rises upon thresholds or trickling creek,
after marble statues, after the armchairs,
after your sweet perfume wafts through my window
and that which possesses you and I much more.
Is it possible to write justly on this meaning?
I cannot write such poetry.”

But you DO write such poetry, because you have to, and we as readers are grateful!    Tres Magnifique

Ah, a read quite at leisure, you hold me here and there and I was absolutely stunned. The beauty, the grace, the eloquence, was quite enchanting and I was more or less inspired by this beauty here..

In fields below where children go,
happily singing their bible song.

this  surely did sing me a lullaby and I was perplexed at how beautiful and randomly you have placed; yet it didn’t sound lost, that was the charm in it…… great…..
Favourite lines : Should I,
after cappuccino with my cookies and cream,
have the energy to bring this moment past its impasse
even though I have run and laughed, ran and played.

I have heard songbirds singing. .. . each to each to each.
Do you think they will sing to me?
I have seen them flying skyward on this breezy day
past the greener treetops, swaying fro and back,
where the wind blows clouds growing. White and Black.

— Surely I must stop copy pasting your lines for am addicted with the grace.  Lost InSight

Thank you for sending this master work my way. Your voice is so easy to read, the music of the words springs off the computer screen. I felt like I was in the presence of an elderly sage, looking back through the tangled web of his life. The images you paint show a deft touch, reflective, softly stated, almost in a deep whisper. In short, I think you have created a poem that possesses special qualities. Well done . . .
Marc Creamore

This is epic. Eliot had a way of tying unrelated things together and making sense of it all. You follow his example well. What I love about this is the deepening meaning as you tell the story, stories (there are many here I think), and the end result being you’re right back to where you started. At least that’s what I see in the progression of things. Some lovely imagery, beautiful lines that stand out. Love the refrains, the seemingly innocent exclamations in the pauses….nice effect. Good stuff, love.   Jin Says

Extraordinary. Once in a while, a poet experiences a pristine moment of inspiration that sets in motion a soft, soothing stream of thought that is at once breathtakingly beautiful and also poignant, filling the reader with a strange melancholic longing. This is such a work, adroit and heart-felt. It left me speech-less and filled my heart with wonder.   Krishnaa

Wow! Amazing write! Your skills are on another level! I enjoyed this write a lot.   Roostaray

This is quite a poem! When I first looked at it, I noticed it’s length. Then I read it and again 3 more times. The imagery is fantastic and multi-directional (detached introspection among these mountaintops along the sun, rising with imagination)….as though it were serious and poking fun simultaneously. The emotions invested come through to the reader. I think there’s a lot of talent evident in this poem. Very, very nicely written work.      MGMC

The poem left me speechless and wonder about the theme. Very poetic, rich in imagery: ‘In fields below where children go, happily singing their bible song’. This piece gives the poem a lift now and then. Natural settings, flight of the mind, very readable and experiencial.   Ravi Panamanna

Goodness…
An amazing write, I am very impressed. “In fields below where children go, happily singing their bible song.”  What a beautiful piece… Written very well.   Catching Fire River

Wow, quite lilting and pleasant to read! Love some of the imagery you used here. Some of the parts have a different “feel” to them, almost like they’re separate pieces. But you tie it all nicely together at the end. This surely represents a lot of effort! Well done!    K. Sparrow

Well I have to admit, I am not familiar with T.S Eliot. But this was absolutely wonderful. I really enjoyed this piece. I’m going to have to read some T.S Eliot now.   Chas

very nice … you have interwoven into this wonderful poem all the threads of living with nature with great use of imagery and metaphor and simile.   Aztlanquill

WELL CRAFTED POETRY. What a finely crafted work! We all or mostly all learn from the old masters by emulating their poetry, but then if we’re our own masters, like you are in my book, then what comes forth is new and masterly poetry designed on the wonders that went before; you have not imitated Eliot, but rather paid a tribute to his old mastery by letting him inspire your fresh mastery.    DW

There are poems that you read and you want to say, change this or that; but there is not one line to change in this. Beautiful language and the way the minute details flowed, the reader was sucked in from start to finish.    R. Maureen

Super. Sounds like J. Alfred finally got some love…    John D.

Masterfully well written poem… excellent interpretation, gorgeous imagery.    Annina Applebee

This is really good. Beautifully written. This piece flows like water and sticks like honey. There is some great imagery and your words are powerful. This is one of the best poems I’ve read. Fantastic write. – gayace-pirate

Brilliant    Michael P.

Excuse me for saying this… but this is the s–t!!  The structure is outstanding and the phrasing and imagery you use is like no other… I’m seriously impressed with this! The verdict is ‘guilty’… of being just too too fabulous for words!   grace note

*Sigh* This is true poetry. You have such amazing talent to write so poet! I feasted upon every word and my mind was filled to the brim. I love the way the personality of the ‘speaker’ becomes clearer as the poem progresses. The man has no tickets on himself but truly loves and wishes to be loved back in the same way. Just amazing. Thank you,    Gaylene

Your piece is beauty within beauty…a true poet’s masterpiece in elegant penning…wordage and imagery held me captive beginning to end…to pen in such beautiful tonality is outstanding…well penned poet…, worth my while to read of its beauty.   Poetess Queen

This is a fine piece of work, well constructed and with pleasing echoes of ‘Prufrock’ itself. I’m not as familiar with Eliot, but I enjoyed the little bits of detail in your tribute (I shall wear my Pendleton blazer with my white-striped pants).   Michael Pastore

I enjoyed reading this: its length seemed to be no impediment! probably because it was inspired by one of my favorite poems (my favorite by Elliot certainly). And the chiasmus in the following lines works well:
“at times, indeed, almost contrary—almost, at times, a Buffoon.”     venicebard

I’m truly lost for words. Where do I begin? I’m in awe of this mini-epic you’ve scripted. There’s emotion, there’s technique and such a languid flow. It’s one of the most beautiful pieces I’ve read. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe this. I’m sure this is a tribute, Elliot would love to call his!  Anonymous

I am floored…this was long but captivating…I was hung on every word…each one bringing me closer to the poet behind them..The imagery well crafted …the feelings…intense…I was made to feel as though I was venturing this….this was a remarkable piece poet…thank you…it was definitely worth the read. –Rosa Promesa

“There will plenty of time” By the end, I was hoping for more. That’s always a good thing. Great poem.
-Nam

This is breathtaking.    Cerulean Skies

To be romantic is not just about words … nor is it about action only. It’s a life’s commitment. Very true and well-put. Bravo!    sunset amber

I am sure T.S is sitting back from that glorious place smiling at this beautiful piece you have written in response to not as a copy cat of his original work. You have certainly taken his work and enhanced it with your own style. The imagery and metaphors used, left me in longing, wanting more and more. The length of this piece is definitely “long” but the content kept your taste buds hungry for more. You always set the bar with your pieces (too many great lines in this piece), I would have to post the whole piece all over again.    Candace-

The staggered alignment and delivery is starting to grow on me. I love T.S. Eliot, so your poem has great appeal to me personally. Amazing and intelligent write you’ve penned. All the best,   Brian Nettles

So much subtle texture and honest expose.  Well writ, sir.  JustBe

This is an amazing piece of work and a fitting tribute to a very talented poet. There is so much here to absorb that I think I need to read it a few more times. I have already read it three times and found new depth each time.    Stardancer1

This is gorgeous. Right away, words spring up and pull the reader in and the imagery takes us on a journey we can actually see through your words….Amazing piece you have penned!!!    Lynda

omg! this is too good! kept me reading!    Sudisha

Simply amazing. Kudos to you! Truly awesome read… Thank you,    Tanya

I’m enjoying this type of poetry, i love it, everything in it, ”thought provoking moving”, it’s wonderful, ”marvel i will”, so very light in my mind, entranced i am. What an artist.  Roziemai

Your poem was a heartbreaking tribute to both my favorite poet and poem of all time. Such gorgeous echoes. I am truly enthralled and emotionally gripped by this piece.    Toni Scales

This is an awesome write.  The imagery is awesome and can be seen in the mind’s eye.  I love the flow of the poem.  It is very inspiring.    Coni 

Well-worthy of more than one read & so I’m book-marking it for future en’joy’ment.  You have a wonderful way of sharing that has a voice that sings and a vocabulary of images that works well.   Joy

It is a pleasure to read it for what it is and what Eliot means to you as a writer. There is such a comfortable peace exhibited, a life passed within years explored questions asked unasked. What captures me most is the layout, the structure, its layered texture gives the eyes a feast while the mind is flexed within the imagery invoked. From redwood trees to mountaintops and a lighthouse gulps of us liquid moonbeams. Life rolls within and blankets one with the easiness of its telling. A fabulous write that should inspire others to reach where they thought not possible. You know where the magic lays, in words well-spoken and what they effectively mean when spoken from within.    IntimidusRex

“Do I part my hair on the side?  Do I fashion for some cribbage?” I find those lines, in particular, achingly beautiful. (Somehow). I dare say, I find myself as enthralled over this piece, as I was over T.S Eliot’s. tungsten nacht

Lovely. Very nicely written. I enjoyed reading your poem and admired how you wove its different aspects so nicely together. I felt it was kind of a philosophical bridge between stark reality and a love poem. I enjoyed it.   Empath-E

A thrilling write that well sucks the mind from the beginning to the middle, carrying a reader to the colored scenes beautified by nature! WOW! Then wandering enthusiastically at the mountaintops where one reaches the apices of imagination, what a joy, what a rather stunning imagery! This is magnificent, blessed be a thousand times the hand that in silent chambers of the creative mind, penned this wonderful work!!!    Nyalusi

This is magnificent. I have read so many of your poems but this one is right at the top, for me. There are so many lines I love ‘forlorn – pale hills’, ‘as for the present I will bend and write’, ‘let us gulp liquid moonbeams’,!! ‘We’ll hug July warmth’ and my favorite of the piece…the line that seems to tie all lines together ‘time is more than minutes – it’s the answer to every question’ The next to last stanza…the entire stanza…speaks directly to me. How busy we are trying to be more than we are that we can’t even see our own worth until time has caused us to pass right by the could haves. Time is a stealthy thief.  I like the repetition of ‘old I grow…old I grow’ which signifies the passing of time, as well. You state you’re not a philosopher but you have the mind of one…you’re ability with words is hands down the best I have ever encountered,  you bring words around to themselves! How is that even possible? This has to be the closest to T.S. Eliot that I have ever seen. You have captured his style quite masterfully. Beautiful writing, indeed. Thank you for sharing it with me. A wonderful piece in every way.     Bj

The repetition of the line “In fields below where children go, happily singing their bible song” was so, so reminiscent of “in the room women come and go speaking of Michelangelo,” which is one of my favorite lines in Prufrock. I could probably spend all day pointing out charming similarities between this piece and Eliot.  i just loved this poem so much, breathtakingly beautiful. I read it again and again. It was easy to read and aesthetically pleasing.  Pretty much every line was a gem and it definitely reminded me of TS Eliot’s style.     WispofSmoke

The images of love and nature in this are spectacular; you have beautiful phrasing, which is very pleasing. You are an amazing writer.   Elegia

WOW!  Congrats on your many medals my friend!  Well done!!     D.Ann

This is incredible, i really enjoy this!     Meta4icLife

Well written and romantic of course…wow…so elegant   !!      Charles Csmomm

Very beautiful full of life and emotions, i really enjoyed reading this poem, thank you.   fgl girl

You’ve done Eliot justice. This could be a classic.   Diane Robertson

I think this is worthy of comment. Mastery of your own thought is a hard to thing to achieve, and it’s never perfect because a thought can change. This poem is a window into your mind, into your life, your upbringing, your influences, fears, dreams—and that question we all ask ourselves, am I content? I love the strong influence of Eliot in your work. You take his questions and turn it around, dissect them and tell us what it means from your perspective. I really enjoyed that.  I have to say, this line made me smile the most… “that oats go well with ripened blueberries.” Shower-thoughts is what I call them, which are my absolute favorite, and this poem was jam-packed.   Mighty

Your tribute poem to Eliot love song is so deep and intriguing with deeper meanings. In loved these lines:

I have known sweet hugs, known warm embraces.
O yes, all of it.
Do you hear what a gentle man I am?
Curves of white and lips of kiss
kept under my pillow in answer to prayers.   Owens Ezekiel

Epic. A grand sweeping poem. Inspired and wonderfully written. I enjoyed this. Inspired me.   Marc Allen

The raptures and vissitudes of life, personal professional and recreational treatment of success failure and growth.    Sandy G.

I can tell you’ve put a lot of work into this as the metaphors are apt and imaginative and your imagery finely-drawn and, despite the length of the poem, you’ve fused them into a concise and thought-provoking read. Very well-written and enjoyable.   Tom George

This very admiring poem, loved the imagery, and the eloquence of storytelling, it had an impact on me. Mumtaz Noori